Oh my heart tonight is breaking! The scene: Joe, my husband and wonderful father of our daughter, is in with Sari reading as always before bedtime. I’m on my computer. This 20-30 minutes before bedtime is literally the only time I have to myself when I’m home with Sari. So Joe is fully on duty. Its usually the most wonderful time for me and him.
Tonight, however, is another story. Sari came out of her room and asked me to take her to the potty. Well, I’m on the computer sitting down and really planned only to get up for my nightly post-bedtime ice cream. So I told Sari that Mommy is busy and that Daddy would take her to the potty. Joe has no problem with this. Up he gets from her bed and then the hysterics begin. Sari wants Mommy and immediately went into crying and screaming. Had she just asked nicely, I would have done it. But as soon as she started screaming crying, it became a battle and I couldn’t give in. DAMN! Because it only got worse.
She proceeded to scream with such force that at one point she almost threw up. All over who is taking her to the bathroom! (I should tell you that she did not nap today so she is very tired.) Anyway, I wanted in to her room and Joe wanted me not to be seen at all. Enter the fight with the husband. I just couldn’t stand by and not help or try to talk her down or something. I still wasn’t going to take her to the bathroom but I wanted to talk her down, if I could. Joe pretty much stood directly in my way to keep me out.
She finally came out of her room. We both knew that a full bladder was going to win eventually. I was in the hallway when she came out so she looked up at me with those crying eyes begging me to take her. I tried a compromise. I told her that Daddy was going to take her but that I would take her empty sippy cup to the kitchen and would meet her in the bathroom. That worked for her – not for my husband. No compromise, no giving in to the tears. This is, apparently, what has been decided is my major fault as a parent.
I finished in the kitchen and noticed that my husband had closed the bathroom door. Sari was in the bathroom still freaking out. I was outside the door trying to decide what to do. Walking in to comfort my daughter would cause a rift between me and Joe. But I’m a mother and a softy so of course comfort won. I could not stand there and listen any longer. It was too intense for me. I never had any intention other than letting her see that I was there. Well as soon as I opened the door, Joe looked at me annoyed and said, “This is feeding her crying.” In a tone of course. I responded with, “oh, yeah, this is my fault.” To which he said, “I’m not saying its your fault.” You have now heard our standard fight. Just imagine the not-so-pleasant tones of voice we were using. Sari looked up at me hiccuping from crying and told her Daddy she was all done. He helped her down and she trotted off to bed as if nothing had happened.
It’s literally 15-20 minutes later. Sari is in bed and so is Joe. There is no more drama between any of us. When Sari said good night to me I gave her a big, tight hug. She just said, “It’s bed time mommy, put me down.” Why am I the only one who seems to be affected (effected?) by this? I almost broke into tears at how sad she was while on the potty. I hate when the day ends this way! My sleep is restless on nights like this but no one else’s is. I guess I should write it off to wanting to be a good mommy and a strong mommy and a woman true to my heart – a heart that will be better as soon as I get my bowl of ice cream!